DID YOU MOTHERFUCKERS REALLY THINK YOU WERE DONE WITH ME? I THINK NOT. THAT’S RIGHT IT’S THE SUGAR SCRUB CHICK BACK WITH ANOTHER FUCKING TUTORIAL. YOU BITCHES HAVE BEEN ASKING ME FOR AGES TO MAKE ANOTHER ONE OF THESE FUCKING POSTS AND IT’S FUCKING LATE SO HERE YOU GO FUCKERS WE GON LEARN SOME SHIT SO SIT DOWN AND BE QUIET
SO WE ALL WANT LIPS RED AS THE BLOOD OF ANGRY MEN RIGHT AND WHO DOESN’T FUCKING LIKE ARTS AND CRAFTS AND I DON’T EVEN NEED TO TALK ABOUT HOW HARD IT IS TO FIND LIPSTICK FOR FUCKING COSPLAY SO BEHOLD THE HUMBLE CRAYON YOU LITTLE SHITS
GET A CRAYON. AND NOT JUST ANY CRAYON A FUCKING CRAYOLA CRAYON DON’T EVEN TRY WITH THAT ROSEART SHIT BECAUSE I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND RIP OUT YOUR UVULA. IF YOU WANNA GET REALLY ARTSY WHIP OUT ONE OF THESE BAD BOYS
AND BREAK UP SOME CRAYONS TO GET THE PERFECT SHADE OF BLUE GREEN FOR THAT BADASS COSPLAY YOU’VE GOT PICKED OUT BUT MARK MY WORDS NO MORE THAN ONE FUCKING CRAYON’S WORTH OF BITS BETTER GO INTO THIS FUCKING BOWL.
SPEAKING OF WHICH, YOU NEED SOME OTHER FUCKING SHIT IN THERE SO GO GET SOME OIL. THE GOOD STUFF. I’M TALKING EVOO BITCHES THE VIRGINAL BLOOD OF THE MOST TENDER OLIVES IN ALL THE LAND. SQUEEZE SOME OF THAT HEAVENLY LUBRICANT INTO YOUR BOWL, ABOUT 1/2 A TEASPOON, THAT’LL DO PIG, THAT’LL DO. NOW GO FIND SOME SHEA BUTTER OR COCONUT OIL AND GLOP ABOUT 1/2 A TEASPOON OF THAT IN YOUR BOWL. NOW GO TO YOUR MAGICAL CABINET OF WONDERS AND FIND SOME NICE SMELLING SHIT. COULD BE VANILLA EXTRACT. COULD BE LAVENDER OIL. I DON’T KNOW BRO WHATEVER YOU THINK SMELLS LIKE THE SILKY UNDERBELLY OF A NEWBORN UNICORN(important note make sure you use a FOOD SAFE oil if it doesn’t say it’s food safe/food grade don’t use it!) GRASP THE BOTTLE FIRMLY, SCREAM LIKE A VICTORIOUS PTERODACTYL, AND DROP 1-4 DROPS OF THAT SWEET SMELLING LIQUID IN THERE.
I HOPE YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS RIGHT THERE BECAUSE IT IS THE HEATING VESSEL FOR YOUR GLORIOUS LIPSTICK THAT’S RIGHT LIKE A VIKING WARLORD YOU ARE GOING TO USE A DOUBLE BOILER. SO GET A SAUCEPAN AND HEAT SOME WATER, THEN PLOP THAT SWEET SMELLING BOWL OF OIL AND WAX ON TOP OF THAT STEAMY WATER LIKE THE COLLISION OF YOUR OTP IN A BAD FANFIC OH YEAH. STIR THAT SHIT UNTIL EVERYTHING IS MELTY AND SMOOTH YOU DON’T WANT TO RUIN YOUR SPOONS SO I USE A DISPOSABLE CHOPSTICK FUCK YEAH RECYCLING NOW ONCE THAT SHIT IS SOFT LIKE THE SUPPLE SKIN OF YOUR HEAVENLY BOOTY, YOU NEED SOMETHING TO POUR IT INTO
WELL DAMN GOOD THING YOU PICKED UP SOME CONTACT CASES LAST TIME YOU WERE AT THE STORE OR MAYBE YOU HAVE SOME EMPTY CHAPSTICK TUBES OR JUST SOME SMALL TUPPERWARE I DON’T KNOW BUT GOSH YOU ARE SO RESOURCEFUL AND PRETTY YOU DESERVE NICE LIPSTICK LIKE THIS ALSO TAKE SOME TIME FOR YOU THIS WEEKEND AND NEVER FORGET HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU
I’M GLAD WE HAD THAT MOMENT TOGETHER NOW BECAUSE NOTHING IS MORE METAL THAN SAFETY, TAKE A THICK HAND TOWEL OR AN OVEN MITT OR SOMETHING AND GRIP THAT BOWL OF COLORFUL GOOP AND POUR GENTLY INTO THAT RECEPTACLE YOU PROCURED. YOU WILL PROBABLY SPILL SOME BUT THAT’S OKAY YOU’RE ONLY HUMAN. POP THAT SHIT IN THE FRIDGE BECAUSE YOU’RE AN IMPATIENT MOTHERFUCKER AND YOU WANT YOUR LIPSTICK NOW GODDAMMIT AND ONCE IT HARDENS SLATHER THAT CREAMY GOODNESS ON THICK, SLIDE ON SOME SUNGLASSES, AND HEAD INTO BATTLE TO DESTROY THE PATRIARCHY CLASS DISMISSED MOTHERFUCKERS
DO NOT DO THIS.
DO NOT DO THIS.
DO NOT DO THIS.
NO DO NOT FUCKING DO THIS, CRYON HAS A LOT OF FUCKING LEAD IN IT (four times more than lipstick) PLEASE JUST BUY ACTUAL LIPSTICK.
There’s no lead in crayola crayons. Kids eat them.
The ingredients in Crayola Crayons are: paraffin, wax, and pigment. They’re made with the understanding that some kids will eat the damn things, so the company that makes Crayons has been very very careful to use non-toxic materials, even going so far as to use a special edible glue on the paper labels. (cornstarch and water, fyi)
You can eat Crayons, if you really wanted to, but frankly the flavor’s a little bland. They taste like wax. So, yeah. adding oils with a lower solidification temperature like Olive Oil or Grapeseed or Avocado, and mixing in some Shea or Coconut Butter would make a creamy crayon. Which you could use on your skin, if you wanted.
Go wild, use that shit on more than just lips. Use it like theatrical makeup, paint your tits blue if you want. Or use it like paint on the walls, or paper, or canvas. It won’t dry the same way acrylic or watercolor paint will, and will remain ‘workable’ and pliable until the oil looses enough water to solidify, much like, oh, off the top of my head… oil paint.
Modern oil paints are very similar to the recipe above, though usually done with Linseed oil or other inert non-organic oils. Organic oils, as they dry, can discolor, making your carefully chosen color look off. Why are some really old painting slightly yellow? Partly the varnish has yellowed, partly airborne pollutants have stained the surface, and partly the oil in the original paint has shifted color.
BTW, don’t eat Linseed oil, you’ll get the runs something fierce and regret it a lot. And then you get to go to the doctor and explain why your runny poo is brightly colored. But the amount you’d ingest from lipstick made with crayons? Negligible.
Now I really want to make a set of rainbow lipstick to match my rainbow collection of nail polish (which is way more toxic than crayon lipstick, too.)
Most hilariously brilliant tutorial I ever read. <3
thank you for this holy fucking shit id you idiots actually think there was fucking lead in CRAYONS?????
THE GODDAMN BOX SAYS ‘NON TOXIC’ ON IT YOU’RE ALL FUCKING STUPID.
I used to fucking EAT crayons. I’m pretty sure there’s no lead.
Using this for my Tribe make up when I cosplay
SEVENS IN HARRY POTTER. SEVEN BOOKS IN THE SERIES. SEVEN HORCRUXES. SEVENS ON HIS FOREHEAD
Other sevens in Harry Potter:
- 7 years at Hogwarts
- 7 floors of Hogwarts
- 7 galleons for a wand
- 7 positions in quidditch
- 7 tasks in the Sorceror’s Stone
- 7 potions in task 6
- 7 Weasley children
- Ginny is the 1st Weasley girl in 7 generations.
- Gryffindor beats Slytherin for the house cup for the first time in 7 years in the Sorceror’s Stone
- 7 books Gilderoy Lockhart requires for DADA (CoS)
- 7 muggles see Harry and Ron fly the car (CoS)
- 7 days of Aunt Marge (PoA)
- Arthur Weasley wins 700 galleons (PoA).
- 7 tear drops on Hagrid’s letter to Hermione (PoA).
- 7 people in the Shrieking Shack (PoA): Harry, Hermione, Ron, Sirius, Lupin, Snape, and Pettigrew.
- Voldemort killed Frank Bryce who was 77 to make the 7th horcrux.
- 7 locks on Moody’s trunk (GoF)
- Dobby has 7 socks (GoF)
- Unicorns don’t turn pure white until they’re 7 years old. (GoF)
- Harry was “born as the 7th month dies…” (OotP)
- 7 memories of Tom Riddle (HBP)
- Harry and Ron get 7 O.W.L.s each (HBP)
- 7DADA teachers
- 7 questions Bellatrix asks Severus in Spinner’s End
- 7 Harry Potters with 7 Order members
- 7 races in the wizarding world: Human, Giant, Goblin, Centaur, Elf, Werewolf, Veela
- There are 142 stairs at Hogwarts which adds to 7 (1+4+2=7)
- Cleansweep 7
- Gryffindor Tower is located on the 7th floor
- Nicholas Flamel and his wife have 7 years age difference
- 7 hidden passageways out of Hogwarts on the Marauders’ Map
- Flitwick’s office (where Sirius is locked in PoA) is on the 7th floor
- 700 ways to commit a foul in Quidditch.
- The Tri-Wizard Tournament was first established 700 years before it’s appearance in the GoF.
- Fred and George charge 7 sickles for a canary cream
- Clause Seven of the Decree states that magic may be used before Muggles in exceptional circumstances
- The Room of Requirement, used for DA meetings, is on the 7th floor. (OotP)
- Cormac McLaggen’s mother was married 7 times. (HBP)
- 7 death eaters at the tower in HBP: Draco, Fenrir, Amycus, Alecto, tall blond, Snape, Gibbon as well as 7 members of the Order and the DA: McGonagall, Tonks, Lupin, Neville, Ginny, Hermione, Ron
- Lily began going out with James in their 7th year at Hogwarts
- The prophecy is in row 97 in the Department of Mysteries
- There are 7 Animagi registered with the Improper Use of Magic Office
- 7 people locked in the Malfoy’s cellar (DH): Ollivander, Luna, Dean, Harry, Dean, Ron, and Griphook
HOW HAVE WE NEVER NOTICED THIS BEFORE!?!?!?
Guys there’s no notes on this post. We broke another post on tumblr…
JK Rowling is the greatest writer ever
7 is the number for completeness in numerology
0 notes y’all broke it again
"isn’t seven the most powerful magical number"
WE BROKE ANOTHER FUCKING POST.
TUTORIAL | Burned Paper Nails
1. Paint your nails with a light nude polish, wait until it’s completely dries.
2. Put a piece of newspaper in alcohol, and wait 15-20 sec.
3.Place the wet paper onto your nails, push it down with your fingers and wait until the alcohol evaporates (7-10 sec), and remove the paper.
4. Topcoat it with clear polish.
5. Draw some lines with black polish, where you want your burned papers edges.
6., 7. Put some black and brown polish with a piece of makeup sponge around the black lines.
8. Clean up the edges with acetone.
9. Use a matte topcoat.
These are some silly things I do when I’m sad and need a distraction.
- Make popcorn, and try to catch it on your tongue. Bonus points if you hit yourself in the eye.
- Turn on your favorite CD. For every song, draw a picture. When the song goes off and a new one starts, start a new picture.
- Open minecraft, creative mode. Dig straight down, then lay TNT all the way back up. Set it off. Go witness the caves you just opened up.
- Pet a dog. If you don’t have a dog, pet a cat. If the cat refuses, wrap him in a blanket and hug him. If you don’t have either one of these, hug your favorite stuffed animal and give it a kiss.
- Write a complimentary letter to a stranger and put it in your library book when you return it.
- Make a video log. Talk about everything you remember from the last month.
- Draw a picture of your dream home.
- Turn the lights out, put your headphones on. Click here.
- Make ridiculous faces, make a photo collage. Challenge a friend to mimic your faces.
- Read your favorite book.
- Take 1 packet of hot cocoa, mix with warm milk. Mix roughly half a table spoon of vanilla and a sprinkle of cinnamon.
- Collect fortune cookie fortunes, tape them to a binder.
- Send 5 random followers a message.
- Write a message to your favorite celebrity. Send it, or don’t.
- Put marshmallows on a microwaveable plate, and stick them in the microwave for 10-20 seconds. Watch them through the glass.
Feel free to add things. Pass the list around. You never know who might need it.
I am writing to inquire about my Hogsmeade premission form. I sent it to you on the very first day of school and I am anxiously awaiting it’s return with your signature on it. But don’t rush, daddy. Missing out on trips like this allows me more time to write letters to you. Yes, things at Hogwarts are going quite swimmingly. I’m the most popular boy at school! Even Harry Potter likes me! I’m also the darling of every classroom and the favorite of any professor who has any sense. Oh, oh! Most importantly I have mastered the use of the potty! Yes, yes, I was a late bloomer, but you can imagine my pride as I strolled into Charms class and said, “Oh, hello gents. Professor Flitwick, sorry for my tardiness. I was just learning how to use the potty.” Oh how the children laughed with me in celebration. I like making people laugh. I also like the potty. I know you haven’t done so all year, but you can feel free to write me any time.
Hugs and Butterfly Kisses,
Wolfstar: finding out their love for each other via Veritaserum, for Isa.
"Truth or dare."
Remus eyed the empty firewhiskey bottle in the center of the four-boy circle skeptically. “I think it’s on Wormtail,” he tried after a moment.
Peter shifted where he sat to Remus’ right and gave a terse shake of his head. “Is not.”
The werewolf audibly swallowed, eyes still on the bottle, then sighed and looked up at James, who, after spinning the offending bottle, was watching Remus with bright, expectant, alcohol-clouded eyes behind his spectacles. “Truth,” he muttered.
SO WE WENT OUT FOR DINNER AND WE STOPPED AT STARBUCKS ON OUR WAY HOME AND I ORDERED AND THEY ASKED ME MY NAME AND I SAID “LORD VOLDEMORT” AND ONCE IT WAS READY
I SHIT YOU NOT
THE LADY SAID
“TALL VANILLA FRAPPUCINO FOR THE DARK LORD”
someone put this on a t-shirt
AM I NOT A THING OF BEAUTY
DON’T YOU WANT A PIECE OFTHIS
WOULDN’T YOU GLADLY GIVE UP ALL OF YOUR WORLDLY POSSESSIONS JUST TO GREET ME WHEN I COME HOME FROM A ONE-SIDED MASSACRE
AND BATHE MY SWEATY BLOODY BAWDeH WITH YOUR TONGUE